Bus Stop
by xLL-Ax
Summary: Natasha held Clint's hand. Clint was not sleeping, for once. Not today, because he felt what Natasha knew. (She could see Thor's bus stop approaching)


**A/N: **So. I can only seem to write sad things these days…

And I want to thank my '_extremely nitpicking_' fantastic beta Laughing-Jackdaw! She's also a writer at ff: if you like Naruto, go check her stories ^^

* * *

Natasha sighed softly as she looked out of the bus window, face impassive.

Behind her she could hear the voices of the others, laughing and joking. Thor was telling a story about his last football match, where he and Steve saved the team. The match had been long and exiting, and they scored a touchdown in the last two minutes. His voice was proud and friendly, and Natasha could see Steve's shy and modest smile in the reflection of the window. She inwardly smiled at that: Steve was nothing but innocent in some ways. The only 'bad' side he had came out when someone insulted his friends or family.

A soft snore was heard from the sat next to her. Clint had fallen asleep, nothing special there. He almost always slept on the bus, next to her. He had once told her that he could only truly sleep when she was next to him. It had been one of the moments Clint looked so vulnerable, and sometimes Natasha still wondered why he trusted her so much. Why he gave her everything, including his love.

In return, she had always given him all she had.

In the seats next to her, she could hear Tony and Bruce discussing one of their chemistry projects. Tony was talking about all the ideas he had, almost rambling, while Bruce listened patiently and threw in some thoughtful comments that made Tony pause. After a short pause the cycle would begin anew. Those two would change the world, someday, Natasha was sure of it. She only didn't know if it would be for better or for worse.

She caught Tony's eye and he smiled. She nodded back and leaned her head against the window again.

Tony had come to their school as an arrogant, cocksure boy because of the face that he was a Stark and a genius. Natasha had been one of the few to see through his façade, and into his lonely soul. She had subtly pushed the chemistry teacher into pairing Bruce and Tony together for one of their projects.

One thing led to another. Now Tony belonged to them, their group, who cared for another and defended one other. The glimpse of loneliness in the eyes of the genius almost never returned, but when it did, Bruce could always cheer Tony up.

Natasha heard a rustle behind her as Thor finished his story and stood up. She had anticipated that: they were almost at Thor's stop. When she looked to the bus's front, she saw Thor already standing in front of the bus doors. He was saying something to Coulson, their bus driver, whilst Coulson just looked impassive and gave a – certainly an unshakable, because Coulson was always unshakable – response.

The bus doors opened and everyone looked at Thor, as if expecting a miracle, when the bus doors opened.

Thor immediately jumped out of the bus and took off, running almost as hard as he did on the football field.

Laughter filled the bus, and even his friends couldn't help but snicker. No one said anything, but Natasha could almost hear everyone think: '_Why does he run every single day? What is important enough to hurry so?_' When the bus started riding again, Natasha would bet her soul on it that everyone's mind was on something else already.

Well, not everyone. Tony and Bruce had stopped brainstorming. And when she looked in the mirror, she could see that Steve's smile had been replaced by a frown.

They were worried for their friend.

Natasha was the only one on the bus who knew that their worry was more than justified.

/_onceuponatime_/

Miss Hill, their teacher, turned the lights on again as the movie ended. 'Class is over, guys. See you all tomorrow!'

Everyone was already up and leaving, chatter filling the room. Natasha sat for just a moment and wondered why Thor wasn't the first to run through the door, as always. She knew why when she looked to her left, and saw Thor sleeping on his table.

She waved for the others to go ahead. 'I'll wake him up, don't worry. Just go, we'll meet you soon.' Clint gave her a concerned look, and she gave him one of her rare smiles, the ones she only saved for him. She mouthed 'go' and he nodded. She smiled. Trusting her judgement like this… Clint truly was wonderful.

Natasha turned around and approached Thor. Her earlier assumption was right: he was having a nightmare. Thor was shaking slightly and his eyelids were fluttering. Natasha narrowed her eyes and silently approached him.

Thor was muttering in his sleep.

As she took the seat next to Thor, she gave the classroom a quick once-over. Nobody was standing in the doorway or outside the windows, and Miss Hill had left too.

She turned her attention to Thor when his mumbling became intelligible.

'Put that down… Down, please…'

His tone was worried, and more serious than she had ever heard from him.

'Please, I beg you!'

She frowned and stood to wake him up.

'Brother, please! Don't do this to yourself, just listen to me! Just… yes, put it over there. Come here, will you? No, I will not hurt you, just…'

Natasha watched with masked shock as a tear dripped down Thor's cheek. She decided this was enough (and it was enough, for she now knew everything, but oh, she wished she didn't) and pinched Thor, hard.

Thor's eyes flew open as he almost slid out of his seat. 'What!?' he almost screamed.

'Shhh!' Natasha scorned him. His wild eyes looked at her, and she clasped her hand over his in a rare gesture of affection.

Thor's mouth became a grim line once he saw her expression.

'I talked in my sleep again, didn't I?' he asked her.

Natasha just nodded. The blond noticed more than he let on, or so it seemed.

'And you have pierced it all together, as you always do, I guess?' His voice was trembling, just ever so slightly.

She nodded again.

'I trust you to keep my secret. Please.'

'Thor.' She told him. He looked at her sharply.

'If you ever want to vent, to word your concern for him, just tell me. I won't tell a soul. Not even Clint.'

Thor gave her a long look, seizing her up, eyes watering, and after a minute or so tossed himself in her arms.

Miss Hill just entered the classroom, but when she saw the two of them and Natasha waved for her to go away, she left.

Thor cried for almost ten minutes straight. This was something shocking in itself, as Natasha had never seen Thor cry before.

When his sobs subsided and his tears stopped, he talked.

And that was how Natasha learned the story of Loki.

/_loki_/

Loki was Thor's brother, but not by blood. Thor had never understood why his parents favoured him over Loki – and if even Thor could see it, then it had to be bad – because even though Thor had lots of friends and was the best sportsmen, did they not see how easy Loki aced all his tests?

When Loki found out – he wasn't told, he found out via internet – he wasn't angry. He wasn't furious. He wasn't even a little mad. He only felt sadness.

For him, Loki had later told Thor, the adoption was simply one of the reasons he was a failure. His own parents hadn't even wanted him when he was born, still a babe, so why would anybody else want him when he would grow up?

Thor always told Loki that whatever happened, he would always want Loki near. And Thor knew that he was the reason Loki carried on, back then. Whatever happened during the day, in the evening Thor would discuss it and soothe Loki's mental and sometimes physical wounds. After that, they would play and Thor would distract Loki so that he sincerely enjoyed himself.

It all went wrong when they had to go to high school.

Their parents decided to split them. Whatever Thor tried, begging and screaming and crying, didn't help. Their minds had been made up.

So Thor went to an expensive, good high school while Loki went to a school with almost no decent teachers and a lot of bullies.

And of course, he was their target.

In elementary school, nobody openly messed with Loki because they were afraid of Thor. Now, Loki didn't have Thor anymore.

Every day, Thor came home to a crying or shivering Loki holed up in his room. And every day, Thor held him for just a little bit longer.

His parents told them both to 'stop whining.'

One day, Thor had detention and missed the bus. He came home an hour late.

His parents were mad, and send him to his room. He decided to check up on Loki first.

Loki's room was empty.

Thor panicked and ran to his own room, which was also empty. He then decided to check out the bathroom.

Loki was laying on the ground, unconscious, with his wrists stained red and a scissors in his open hand.

That day was the last day Thor got detention.

/_back_/

Life went on.

Every day Thor ran, and every day Natasha could see the frowns of their friends getting ever so deeper.

And every day, everyone kept chuckling and joking when Thor ran off again.

He ran for his brother, who was sitting at home, alone, no happiness in his life except for Thor. Nothing to keep him from picking up the blade again, to end his existence which he deemed unworthy. Nothing except the love from and for his brother.

He ran for his family, because everyone was always fighting, but not when he was around, because he was the one who sacrificed everything to keep his family whole.

He ran for himself, because he held hope in in hands and voice, and because he believed it would all become better, soon.

Natasha had long since stopped laughing.

/_then_/

One day, Thor missed school.

Nothing else happened that day, nothing important. Everyone just assumed Thor was sick.

The next day, Thor still hadn't turned up.

/_when_/

A week later, Thor was back.

He acted normal, smiling and joking and laughing with the others. He told everyone that he had indeed been sick for a week. It was not something to worry about, according to him.

Natasha kept an eye on Thor all day long.

On the bus ride home, Thor was in the back again. And again, Natasha could see his stop approaching through the window. She held Clint his hand, who was not sleeping for once. Not today, because he could feel what Natasha knew.

When Natasha removed her gaze from the window into the bus, Thor was walking to the front of the bus again, as always.

Everyone started sniggering again.

Natasha squeezed Clint his hand.

The bus doors opened.

Thor calmly stepped out of the bus and walked away, not looking back.

He had stopped running.

* * *

**A/N:** So. Yeah.

I read this idea, sort of, on tumblr and I just had to write an avenger!story about it. I have no idea how football works, so I hope that part was right. I also apologize for any of you who might be offended or otherwise negatively affected by the subject of self-harm. I do not mean to offend any of you; I only want to write a story. Thank you for reading. :)


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